Bad Hair Day – Free Writing

It’s raining here in DC. Has been for two weeks. I was caught in a shower and afterwards realized that I treated the event with a lot more annoyance than it warranted. So I did some free writing about the event, a paragraph in which I tried to capture my out-sized, overwrought reaction to the minor inconvenience. Hence:

Bad Hair Day

The unceasing hail of water, condensed ten-thousand feet above me in the stratosphere, heavenly realm of Boreas and Zephyr, drenches my hair like a divine curse. “Oh!” I wail. How you empyrean beings have chosen me as your toy, a battered mouse — bloody, bowed, near death — between the paws of a sadistic cat. My carefully coifed bangs are now plastered against my forehead and spilling its fixing mousse into my mouth. I taste the bitter flavor of styling gel. It matches my desolate fate — a head of sodden hair that must resemble a dead squirrel. The rain continues, a judgment and a condemnation. I claim brotherhood with Job and declare that only a leprous skin disease or the extinction of my family would be worse than this fate: a head of sodden hair. Bad hair day indeed. The end of the world.

About Stefen Styrsky

Stefen Styrsky's fiction has appeared in The Offing, Number Eleven Magazine, Inch, and the Tahoma Literary Review. A few years ago he earned an MA degree in fiction writing from the Johns Hopkins University. Stefen lives in Washington, DC.
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One Response to Bad Hair Day – Free Writing

  1. Jeanne says:

    Oh I love it! The drama. Like your sword of damocles comment, only grander and longer.

    Like

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